Half Crown, Half Football Pt. 1

I reached the level of actually playing the game, rather than researching and writing about it.I started off this new nature by taking over Serie D recently-promoted side, Mezzocorona, a club which by no means should be an opener for those who went through such a process as myself – you see, Silvio, Stefano and Federico aren’t attractive as Gerrard, Fabregas or Rooney; nor sexy (scratch that latter comment).

Manager

Funky Manager is unproven manager from a distant country, who likes to play a simple yet complicated 4-4-2 variations with a balanced playing mentality. Thorough, disciplined and with no sense of humor whatsoever – he is not a guy that you would like to meet in a dark corner street (mainly because there must be hell of a reason of why he should wander around there, instead tweaking his two tees).

Assistant Manager

Massimo Carli, or in shorten, MC. Young little assistant manager with great passion for kids, youngsters, reserves and other nonsense that serves no point despite what the guides say. Responsible for arranging friendly-matches, playing them and occasionally giving training reports. He’s fairly known for being a sniffy bastard that wanders around players, and assessing their morale – paradoxically, his very existence and monitoring should have demonstrated Heisenberg uncertainty principle, but that would be too realistic.

Coach

Marco Logafeld, whose name nobody actually knows but the author of this masterpiece. All personnel call him ‘coach’, even his wife. He has unexplained desire for movement – carriages, planes and flying couches are his special treat.

GK Coach

Lucio Bighellini, a name which everybody knows but no-one remember. In fact, nobody actually see him except of the goalkeepers, which is worrying considering the vast amount of money he’s getting. Recently invited to Ghost Whisperer.

Fitness Coach

Andrea Valli is actually the club nutritionist , telling the players how to eat healthy and exercise well. He’s famous for experimenting with new methods in his profession, trying to get the best out of players using natural medicines – inspired by Bob of ‘Fight Club’.

Physio

Michele Tomassini isn’t really a staff member, but the local male massage chair. It’s getting a monthly payment for keeping the men fit, their body relaxed and no injuries. It also has a lovely nickname amongst the players – Jigsaw.